Help! Hi, I just found this site and have been dealing with hardwood floor issues since July. Hoping you can help!

We had water damage in our kitchen and needed to refinish our 1996 white oak hardwood floors. While we were at it, we decided to get rid of ALL carpet in the upstairs and continue the wood floor into the living room, office, bedroom and down the stairs (we have a daylight basement - wood flooring was installed on the small basement landing, but not into the basement any further than that).

The floors used to be a light maple color, (kind of orang-y looking after years of aging of what I assume was an oil-based finish). The flooring guy laced in the new floor and we chose a medium brown stain and went with a water-based finish at his recommendation (as I understand it most people are doing water based these days). He used Bona Mega One Sealer and two coats of Bona Traffic. A month later the floors were cupping and he ended up sanding them back down and re-doing the finish (at his own suggestion, as he said the MC of my original flooring was higher than normal, and he only checked to see that the wood was at an average MC prior to installation). I was scared to refinish because the finish was so beautiful the first time, but he promised the second time around would look just as nice (and why wouldn't it?). The second finish was very hazy, not clear at all and he said it was because he used a new sandpaper or whatever for the screen that was too rough for the water based finish. He put another coat of finish on with and it turned out to look much better, although I still think it doesn't look as clear as the first time. The issues I'm having (aside from the floors RE-cupping and we don't know why!) is that the finish is ULTRA SOFT. I feel like there must be a problem. I have been an absolute nag about being careful on these floors. We've been living in our basement since July and have only just recently (in the last couple weeks) had our appliances moved into the kitchen so we're using the upstairs a little more. I do not allow shoes, make the kids wear socks, used BRAND NEW moving blankets on the floor for the longest time to protect from any workers coming in....I just don't know how I could have been any more careful - we have no pets, the kids don't play with toys upstairs (all their stuff is downstairs, we don't even have any furniture upstairs yet) and we STILL have scratches all over the floor! Thankfully they aren't deep, but you can see them in the light and I am worried what they will look like after a few months of REALLY living in here! I am no stranger to wood flooring, I've had it almost all my life and I just don't feel like this is right. Things scratch this floor that I have no idea what happened, my old floor only scratched if you dragged a heavy item across it. Another weird thing (clue, maybe?) is that my kids (11, 7 and 5) slid in their socks across the floor and made marks that WON'T COME OUT with anything, no bona cleaner, or citrus cleaner, they are there to stay. How can that happen so easily? I will try to attach pictures of that. I can make marks on the floor with my fingernail, that won't rub out. I had the wood floor guy out and he said Bona Traffic is one of the most durable and he hasn't had any complaints about either of those things - he didn't seem to think there was any problem. I can't imagine what a less durable finish might be like? Socks mark up the floor? Any ideas to help me out here?
Also if anyone can help me out how to post an image....

Thank you if you made it this far!

It can take a while to get used to water-based finishes, but wear tests show that they hold up well. The finish is tough and even if the finish may scuff more easily than some solvent based finish, the finish resists wear. Lower luster for the finish coat helps mask the scuffing. The denting from a finger nail can happen even with wood that tests out to be harder than white oak. Maple will dent by finger nail pressure.
Sorry you have had these troubles.